412 Science Hall

Atmosphere

2007-05-11T08:56:00.000-05:00

Last Friday as I sat working on my thesis proposal a most unpleasant sound arose from the basement of my apartment building. That sound has now celebrated its one week anniversary.
I'm not sure this does it justice.
Each day for the past week my apartment has shaken like the earth was giving way beneath it and the sound has been deafening. Last week it occured as I attempted to complete my thesis proposal, and today it occurs as I try to sleep off a late night stay at Chateau de Reyerson. OH MY FUCKING GOD THIS SHIT IS SO LOUD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I hate to sound like a whiny twit, but shit man! this is a college town in the last week of the semester. Who the fuck thought now would be a good time for eight hours of jackhammering each day??? Fuck Madison and fuck my landlord. Deliver me to a place where my money spent means something to people. Which reminds me, shit, I need to go move my car as (gasp!) it's been parked on the street for nearly two whole days. God damn this place....

Explanation

2007-05-10T08:31:00.000-05:00

Our sister blog 413 Science Hall recently made a post wherein a song detailed the escapades of 412 Science Hall resident, Joel. Keeping with the spirit of music as an explanatory tool I offer this clip to better illustrate what has made Joel, Joel.

Trekkie

2007-04-26T23:37:00.000-05:00

Somehow found myself perusing the Flickr page of Wil Wheaton, or Wesley Crusher as he is known to trekkies around the galaxy. Not much to add other than I find this picture perfectly hysterical.
Wil has a blog, as well, that is often entertaining.

Violence

2007-04-18T22:05:00.000-05:00

The events in Blacksburg were horrible. I've spent time there and I can't imagine such a quiet place overrun by the media and the associated sorrow merchants
Perhaps equally confounding to me--though not to diminish anything in VA--is the continued carnage in Iraq. It's estimated that 183 Iraqis died today but you might never know that given the abundance of video a stills on the web of a troubled young man posing with his guns.
As a nation we seem to have difficulty sympathizing beyond our own borders. I guess that speaks to the power of nationalism (and prejudice). I think that's fucked up.

More donkey shit to follow this brief moment of sober reflection.

San Francisco is just like Madison

2007-04-18T19:48:00.000-05:00

First blog post from San Francisco. Some parts of an everyday street scene here really remind me of home.

Donkey Weather Beta

2007-04-14T19:44:00.000-05:00

I try learn how use XML data in Flash. Here bees first attempt.

The ultimate Flash map?

2007-04-12T02:46:00.000-05:00

WiscHorseFreedomInhalerStreamRoadsVizMapper.tv? Are we doing this?

Bike ride

2007-04-10T23:42:00.000-05:00

We took a ride along the Sparta to Elroy trail last summer. I took some pictures and shot a little video. Took forever to put them together into a kick ass video. By kickass video I mean one that's over 10 megs in size and takes forever to download. (Anything less was too pixelated to see)
Enjoy?

Beware the predator!!

2007-04-09T23:58:00.000-05:00

Wasting time, I found myself on this website watching movie clips and recording the audio for future use. I was amused by this clip from The Royal Tenenbaums, both for the clip and for the title posted by the site. If you can't make out the jpeg, the clip is called a "predator natural understanding of international finance..." I believe what is actually said in the movie is preternatural. Ha ha ha....ha.

My Master's favorite

2007-04-08T15:53:00.000-05:00

Zach Johnson is currently one stroke behind the leader. Keep your fingers crossed.
Also, T. Woods just wrapped a club around a tree dealing with a bad lie. I've never seen anything like it--pretty cool. He's still a seventy year old in a young man's body, but it was a rather impressive "golf shot," as they say. I'm sure it will be all over the internets by the time you see this post.

Suckass Borders

2007-04-06T22:01:00.000-05:00

So (yes, I start my sentences with so) I needed to find out the hours of the Borders store I was fixin' to visit. Clicked on this here link to locate the store in question. Up pops the helpful map but, what's this? you can't click on the map to find the stores in a particular state. Dang, suckass Borders. What's more, I can't figure out what the colors are supposed to be. Geographic regions, I suppose, but no apparent logic as to what state is what color and why they are colored at all. It ain't like you can filter them. And with that I say, "Dang Borders, you suck."

*Ironically, I was going to Borders to purchase a web mapping book.

Johnson-esque donkey born at local landfill

2007-03-29T17:01:00.000-05:00

A donkey bearing a striking resemblance to Zach Johnson was recently born at an area landfill. 412 well-wisher Dick Donohuge notes that the event was "not exactly unexpected."

You wouldn't call them "snack fries"

2007-03-28T16:42:00.000-05:00

Does the notion of a "snack wrap" enrage you? Apparently it enrages a certain L'Etoile pastry chef, who is a casual acquaintance/wife of blogger ZMurder. According to Mr. Murder, numerous holes in the walls of his palatial Gorham Street home bear evidence of her anger when she sees the McDonald's Snack Wrap advertised. And despite his claims of slipping on a banana peel and falling down the stairs, Z's own broken ribs and facial bruises testify to this, too.

Whence her outrage? Supposedly she insists that it is foolish to qualify the name of this product with the word "snack." A wrap is a wrap, her logic goes, and there is no need to label it as anything else.

I contend that Mrs. Murder's anger is misguided, and refute her with the following.

First, this is a matter of size. A wrap is not simply a wrap if it is a small portion. If this wrap does not measure up to standard wraps, we should deem it snack-sized, and to make this distinction perfectly clear to consumers, we should label it as such. This is a public courtesy to customers so that they do not receive something unexpected.

Critics, of course, will contend that "snack" is in the mouth of the beholder, and we cannot define a "one size fits all" snack. Certainly anything can be a snack--or a meal--to somebody, but again it is important to consider variation in size. We need to distinguish this wrap from other, larger wraps. We must also take into account McDonald's intentions for this wrap. They intend it to be a snack; you are free to do with it as you please, but you are aware of their intentions. Now, it is understandable that Z's wife might not realize that these products are snack-sized. After all, weighing in at a petite 43 pounds, she might consider one of these wraps a full meal. But think of 290-pound (all muscle) ZMurder or my own 600-pound father, likely the more frequent McDonald's customers. This is hardly a meal to them. The libertarians among us, I hope, will be pleased that we are letting the market define a "snack."

But wait, the issue is still complicated. As I reflected on my recent delicious meal of a honey mustard (crispy) chicken snack wrap and french fries (compliments of my driving student), I thought I had conclusively solved the matter. The wrap is approximately the same size as the medium fries, I thought, and we'd hardly consider the fries a main course, so clearly the wrap is of snack size! The first counterpoint to that, which Z supposed his wife would propose, is that we wouldn't call them "snack fries" despite their clearly being snack material, and that likewise there is no need to call the wrap a "snack wrap." The second counterargument I envision is a response to the previous paragraph: yes, wraps now come in various sizes, but so do orders of french fries, and again, no one is calling any of them "snack fries." My answer to these points is that fries are a known food item, deeply embedded in our culture and our arteries. The people can accept different sizes of just "fries." They are not ready for different sizes of wraps. And please don't believe that I consider myself above them; I make no claim to be ready for multiple wrap sizes either.

Perhaps the future will allow us to drop "snack" from the name, but now is too soon.

Please share your thoughts on this matter and Food Theory in general. There are many issues to discuss and debate!

How now brown bureaucrat?

2007-03-24T01:35:00.000-05:00

The following started as an argument at Nick's Restaurant on Thursday night (right after the StP show). It quickly turned ridiculous via email. Below are the first two emails. Further correspondence will be posted as comments.

Zach Johnson:
Hey hippies,

Here's the article I was drunkenly referencing earlier: Jacob Sullum's "Jumping the Loan Shark" (http://www.reason.com/news/show/117910.html). I'd be interested to hear your objections to this. My blog convo re this can be found here: http://www.journeytothemiddle.com/index.php?p=942
Please comment if you're interested. Holla.

John$on

Joel Przybylowski:
Nice article. I'm especially moved by convincing passages such as this:

"In a 2005 Cato Institute paper, Hillsdale College political scientist Gary Wolfram reviewed the relevant studies and concluded 'there is a good deal of evidence suggesting that federal financial assistance has the unintended consequence of increasing tuition for all students.'"

Surely someone writing for the Cato Institute (a popular BIG government defender) who has reviewed "the relevant" studies and cites "a good deal of evidence" has objectivity as his focus. I would be more inclined to take this seriously if the writer had the courage to undertake an honest review of the issue.

I'm curious as to how the money I borrow from the government and pay back with interest is "aid," as the blogger repeatedly insists. In addition to the interest I pay, will not my seven figure "average" income further strengthen the state coffers in taxes I pay (and thus allow us to wage more wars on behalf of [cough] small-government "conservatives")?

I tire easily listening to fake-ass small-government types who think they got where they are all on their own and the government they claim they want to "drown in a bathtub" isn't just something they want to manipulate to their own benefit. They talk a good game and then throw it all out the window when they take office (see: every "conservative" that has been in power in my lifetime). They gather all the racists together by convincing them their taxes are paying for welfare moms and then ship them off to die in Iraq so Cheney et al can grow fat. Brilliant. So called small government types don't hate government, they hate when the people at the bottom get something out of the deal. They view themselves as independent bootstrap hikers living some American dream fantasy only to manipulate the government to their liking when they grab power.

The author would rather I borrow money from "private" (FEDERALLY insured [subsidized risk aversion]) lenders, and uses the argument that they would keep the price down. It takes but own trip to an ATM to realize how sure you should be of private lender profit motives. Credit card rates, anyone..? Oh if only I could strap that rate on to a juicy student loan principal. Please, my guess is tuition would remain inflated (or rise) as these jackasses lick their chops at the site of the revenue my debt would create.

My suggestion would be to practice what you advocate. Cast aside the taxpayer funded TA position you hold (full benefits for a part-time job!?) and go take out a loan at Bank of America. It should only cost you about 60k (not, in fact, the price of a Hyundai), plus interest. Be a shining example of the beautiful free market system the hippies so foolishly misunderstand. The students would benefit by getting an actual professor to teach their classes and the people of WI would benefit by paying less in taxes. Last but not least, the folks at the Cato Institute would be happy as another scum-sucking ivory tower liberal is plucked from the big government teat. (You do know these people despise you, don't you?)

I agree, access to easy money only enables colleges to raise tuition. I disagree that the obvious answer is to privatize lending. That doesn't address the operating costs at a place like UW, it only switches who benefits from my misery.

United we stand! (rhetorically speaking, of course)
jap

Shoot the rock

2007-03-22T23:38:00.000-05:00

Oh how the mighty have fallen (for the moment). It looked for a while that Z-Murder would run away with the NCAA bracket booty and L. Armstrong would fail to surpass lowly "Farts" in the standings. Oh what a difference a day can make...Z. Murder now finds his star dangerously low on the horizon with L. Armstrong suddenly in striking distance.
Perhaps there is but one word that can properly capture this recent turn of events--dang.

Hey 413, I ain't Brando!

2007-03-22T13:11:00.000-05:00

But I am on record as thinking my brother might be (my younger, skinnier brother and the younger, skinnier Brando).

Nerd alert!

2007-03-21T14:29:00.000-05:00

Hey, look at me, I've been to 998 counties in the United States!

413 Sci Hall is for sucks

2007-03-21T13:56:00.000-05:00

I, speaking on behalf of this blog, will stomp a mudhole in 413 Science Hall. Count on it.

413 blog fuel

2007-03-21T09:28:00.000-05:00

That's right, Doritos "ho cheese"!

David Berman

2007-03-20T23:51:00.000-05:00

"I am waiting for the bus when I smell something burning. I turn to the man standing next to me and ask if he smells it too. In preparing to speak he lets a cloud of condensed breath out into the freezing air. For a half second my mind plays a trick on me. 'Oh no, he's burning,' I think."

Lost

2007-03-20T21:23:00.000-05:00

Trying to watch Lost on the web, using a Mac? Good news, there's a new video plug-in to help. Me wonder where the webpage explaining how to download was written? Made me think that I was perhaps on a dummy site created by "hackers." Dang, English! Installastion..?

Chili Cheeze

2007-03-20T13:49:00.000-05:00

Dear Friend,
As a public service I offer the following list of items consumed over lunch by yours truly:
One fried chicken sandwich
One bag Chili Cheese Fritos
One white chocolate macadamia nut cookie
One cup black coffee.

TA's (and others) are advised to steer clear of the area surrounding 412 Science Hall for the next 8 to 10 hours as this mass of junk food slithers through my digestive tract.
Yours,

Dear Colleague,

2007-03-20T12:58:00.000-05:00

In preparation for warmer weather ahead I offer you the Official Jersey anthem as liberated from the NJ Guido website. Read it. Learn it. Live it...

NJ Anthem

This is the weekend that we show the rest of the world what we are made of.

It's time to show the New Jersey haters out there, how we party.

They don't know what it's like to be part of the energy of Temptations on a Saturday and Sunday night.

They don't know what it's like to be on the Surf Club beach on Saturday and Sunday with the world's best looking people.

They don't know what it's like to hear Denny Tsettos rip "Shiny Disco Balls" for an hour to the point where the crowd erupts in energy.

They don't know what it's like to party like we do.

We don't care about a big, beautiful, shore house.

We don't need an exotic club, full of wanna be rich boys and snotty women.

We don't want a city lounge, or a fancy dinner.

We don't want to dress up, we want to dress less. We want to show off the fact that New Jersey men and women are in the best shape.

It's time to put all of the petty bullshit behind us.

Turn off the damn t.v. Get off your ass, and get to the Jersey Shore. It's weekends like this that last forever.

There are no excuses. Party like a rockstar.

Norseman pillages TA Alley

2007-03-20T10:06:00.000-05:00

Science Hall's fourth floor was recently terrorized by what one denizen described as "a Viking warrior the size of two or three ordinary men." The Norseman pillaged most of the offices in the area known as TA Alley, emptying them of all their candy and other comestibles. Witnesses reported that he rode into the corridor on a shimmering white unicorn, which he leapt off in a backflip before charging at frightened TAs with a large battle axe. The same Viking is suspected of raiding a Geography Club meeting two weeks ago and abducting two undergrads thence, a charge supported by sightings of a slice of pizza stuck to his sleeve in the fourth floor raid.

A thick trail of candy wrappers and cookie crumbs leads to room 401, where suspected Viking Jamon Van Den Hoek works, but so far investigators have been unable to penetrate the barrier of inaccessible music to question him.

412sciencehall.blogspot.com featured on 413sciencehall.blogspot.com

2007-03-19T15:09:00.000-05:00

The celebrated Paul Reyerson (yes folks, that Paul Reyerson) has given 412 Science Hall a shout-out on his popular blog. Congratulations, 412, we finally made it!

http://413sciencehall.blogspot.com

Erkenswick Comes Clean About Hatred for SciHallers

2007-03-19T13:50:00.000-05:00

me: http://412sciencehall.blogspot.com/
Aaron: you guys are lame
me: waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
dude
cmon
Aaron: i'm sorry but it's true
perhaps lame isn't the best word
maybe dorks would be better
me: erk?
dude?
Aaron: you made a blog for your office mates
say it out loud
me: andy made it
we just contribute
everybody is bloggin now
you can add to it
Aaron: i'll pass
me: rough day at work?
Aaron: no not at all,
i just feel you all are a little to obssessed with eachother

Johnson Adds Hat, Loses Credibility

2007-03-19T00:51:00.000-05:00

Yet more on the Johnson scandal. Zachari was seen leaving Madison's glorious Lake Mendota, looking all of the part of a donkey humper. In other news, Roth 'photoshops' girlfriend out of picture by photoshopping hat onto Johnson.

Condemning Photo Shocks Science Hall, Roth Adds Blogspot Post to CV

2007-03-18T22:32:00.000-05:00

As many of you 412ers and 412wannabe-ers may have seen, a shocking photo of Zach Johnson was circulated this past Saturday afternoon (see image). The photo, whose content was confirmed to be completely non-fallacious shortly after its circulation, depicted a devilishly handsome Johnson participating in the bone-dance with a donkey. As predicted, the image has polarized Science Hall and has shaken the discipline of Geography to its very core.

To help the healing process start, the facts of the case will be communicated in another typically-hilarious, ultra-quirky edition of "Rothy's Top-10".

Top-10 Reasons Why This Photo Has To Be Real:
10. After working with the interface Zach coded, I also felt like I just used a donkey.
9. There's no way Huge could have Photoshopped the perfect match in skin tone around the neck area.
8. Limburg has already cornered the market on Man-Dog sex.
7. This map contains the typical bad design/horrible cartography we all expect from Zach
6. In Arkansas, the union of man and donkey is celebrated, since usually they are second cousins.
5. True to what Lauren has mentioned in the past, it appears as though Zach is enjoying it much more than the donkey.
4. penguinhumper.tv/blogspot/beta was already registered
3. Andy had to settle for the donkey suit because he couldn't get a costume of Shrek on such short notice.
2. The carpet matches the drapes.
1. There is a god. His name is Zach Johnson. He has sex with donkeys.

Next Week: Top-10 Reasons Why Joel's Marriage Debunks the Big-Bang Theory

Fresh bottle of Old Grand-dad

2007-03-15T11:55:00.000-05:00

I've got a fresh bottle of Old Grand-dad 100 proof in my desk. Stop by for a bracer.

Reyerson won't shut up!

2007-03-14T14:31:00.000-05:00

"Phytolith" this, "flood" that...

Put a sock in it!

Test tickle

2007-03-14T14:02:00.001-05:00

Doos this mug work?